My AUTUMN playlist

My all time favourite fall playlist to get me in the cozy sweater-weather mood!

I know, I know it isn’t autumn yet. But I just can’t help myself. Fall is my all time favourite season. This playlist gets me in a cozy mooood:

“And the sun took a step back, the leaves lulled themselves to sleep and Autumn was awakened.” – Raquel Franco

  • This city – Sam Fisher
  • Rose – Honest Men
  • Milestone – Matt Walden, Joey Kidney
  • Silent movies – Aquilo
  • Mother tongue – Joshua Moss
  • Young & Free – Dermot Kennedy
  • Wild love acoustic – James Bay
  • Sleep – Joseph & Maia
  • Kings and Queens – Drew Cole
  • Always / Almost – Jordy Searcy
  • To hold on to you – Luca Fogale
  • This is love, interlude – Joey Kidney, Matt Walden
  • Sunflower – Shannon Purser
  • Coffee And Cigarettes – The night game
  • Get to you again – Mac Ayres
  • Nevermind (alright) – Dennis Lloyd
  • Lost – Dermot Kennedy
  • Make it rain – Ed Sheeran
  • Comethru – Jeremy Zucker
  • Someone you loved – Lewis Capaldi
  • Cringe – Matt Maeson
  • It’s you – Ali Gatie
  • I’ll try – KJ Apa
  • Kiss me – Ed Sheeran
  • Best part of me – Ed Sheeran, YEBBA
  • If I were an artist – Jake Coco

So, this concludes my fall playlist. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The spotify playlist: 

I love to hear what you guys think of my articles so feel free to send me a message at any time! Hit me up at instagram: @nickyknols.

I wish you all the stars,


Stories of the subconscious mind: 2


“Please, let me sleep.”

I am in my room. I wake up in the middle of the night and I try and switch on my light. When I switch it on my room is different, completely different. Suddenly people start walking in. My mom, my dad, my brother, but also random people. And one pearticular guy who just keeps staring and smiling.

I get out of bed and follow them around. There is this girl who I haven’t seen her face of. We all walk to the bathroom and the moment I look in the mirror I scream. The girl in front of me, is me, bald. I walk behind her and try to talk to people but no one can hear me. I feel like I am in some kind of alternate reality. I go back to bed.

I close my eyes and try to breathe. I need to wake up, I need to wake up. I start screaming, hoping that my real body makes a noise and people come and help me. But I can’t wake up. It doesn’t work.

We’re in a thriftshop years ago. I have never been here before. I walk around looking for shoes and my brother and dad are sitting by the table. Suddenly I get into a fight with my brother, my dad won’t let me talk and I cry and walk away.

I wake up in my dark changed room again. I try and switch on the lights but it doesn’t work. Then suddenly my family walks in again. But my brother has different parents, my parents have different children, and I have no one. I run onto the hallway and a band is playing. I scream and scream, hoping for anyone to hear me. But the only one who seems to notice me, is the smiling guy.

I go back to bed again. I close my eyes and tell myself that I need to wake up. Wake up Nicky, wake the fuck up. Louder and louder and louder. My heart starts pounding, my voice starts scratching. But still no one listenes.

I open my eyes and wake up in a dark room. I see a blonde guy standing in the corner but fading, fading, fading. Until he is gone. I switch on my light and I am in my normal room. Freaked out. I look at the time and see that all the time that has passed with me sleeping, was just 30 minutes.


“My brain says ‘move’, but my body says ‘bite me’.

SO, I am writing this now. Freaking myself out just a little more. It is 12:30am and I don’t even know what the fuck just happened. I never had a dream this crazy and I am afraid to go to sleep. I don’t want this ever again.

I did a little digging and found out that I had a combination of sleepparalysis and sleepclaustrophobia. Sleepparalysis is when you feel completely conscious but you can’t move. Often, people see things and it can be really frightning. I think this is what happened at the very end when I saw the man in my room but I couldn’t move until he completely vanished. Sleepclaustrophobia is when you are lucid dreaming (knowing that you are dreaming and trying to control the dream) but can’t wake yourself up. This is what happened when I was dreaming and knowing I was asleep.

Dreaming of unknown men can mean that there is a lot of change in your life. This calls true to me because I am starting uni and a lot of things are changing on personal level. However, the man I encountered in my dream seemed evil to me. I still don’t feel well whenever I think about his expression and the energy he had around him. Like he knew things I didn’t and like he was the person keeping me in the dream. 

My mother had a theory that the evil smiling man was a representation of my control. The week before the dream I had my orientation week and I had to let go of every piece of control and routine. She said that it is possible that I feel haunted by it and that I can feel like it is trying to imprison me.

If you ever have a crazy or creepy dream, make sure to hit me up. Instagram: @nickyknols.

I wish you all the stars,



Stories of the subconscious mind: 1

let me take you down into the rabbit hole that is called the subconscious mind

I found myself dreaming, not in silver and gold, but in grey and dark.


It is night, darkness everywhere. Every single time, I am surrounded by darkness. I feel a stabbing pain coming up in my head. I don’t know what is wrong with me and I can’t seem to fully open my eyes. 

I tell my mother and without saying a word, she drives me to the hospital. It is weird, I haven’t been in this hospital before. Eventhough I have been in the hospital numerous times, not this one. It is dark and I wonder why there are only so few people around. 

We try to enter the hospital, but my mother can’t seem to come with me. A docter walks up to us and grabs my arm. I ask my mother why she can’t come but she simply stares at me. 

The doctor lies me down in a bed, in the middle of the hospital hallway. I can’t understand why here, why the lights don’t seem to work and why oh why there are so few people around?

The doctor walks away and I yell for him to come back and explain what is going to happen. Silence.

A nurse appears and, again, without saying a word she puts a needle into my arm. I ask her what she is doing and what she is giving me. “Just something to relax you, dear.” 

My head starts to get fuzzy and I feel like she gave me a narcose high. I panic, everything looks blurry and the only person around is the nurse. Suddenly the only thing I can see is her. Grabs the side of the bed and looks me in the eye. Then she pushes the bed out of the sudden, with an unknown strength. The bed starts spinning around, I am screaming and she is laughing. At one point I can’t hold on to the bed anymore and fall onto the ground. 

I am alone. The nurse dissapeard, the docter walked away and my mom is outside. The ground is soft and I feel like I am becoming one with it. I close my eyes and feel myself emerging.

The moment I feel I am completely emerged, the wind starsts blowing. Louder and louder and louder. I open my eyes and I am sitting on the back of a motorcycle, holding on for dear life. I don’t know anything about motorcycles, but I definitely knew the guy in front of me was going way too fast. I notice how the motorcycle starts to swing and I feel like he is losing control. I can’t do a thing but hold on tight. And then a crash, and everything dark. Just where it started.


This dream really shook me up. Last year I have been dealing with mental health issues and some hospital visits. A lot of uncertancy and mixed feelings came along. Because everything happened inside my head, it was very hard for other people to understand. That is why I think I dreamed about the lonelyness. I dealt with a lot of people not understanding me and judging me. It made me feel weak. This is why I think the nurse spun me around. The not-in-control feeling that I have been having for the past year is all this dream is about.

Dreaming about being in a hospital could mean that you or someone in your life needs some kind of healing. It could be physical, mental or even spiritual. This could mean that someone needs help. It can also mean that you need to take more responsibility for own health, instead of expecting other people to cure you.

Dreaming about abandonment can mean that you are not trusting yourself in some way. It can also mean that there are people who need to be more appreciated in your life or that there is something you drasticly need to let go in your life.

This was the second story of the subconscious mind. If you ever have a dream and you want to talk about it, make sure to hit me up. Instagram: @nickyknols.

I wish you all the stars,


The BEST banana bread recipe!

this is the recipe for my FAVORITE bananabread, and it is ready within ONE hour!

I can’t even begin to explain how friggin much I love this bananabread. I make it for family and friends, AND it is also super healthy and filling. Are you curious already? Then lets get into it.

(the ingredients will be measured by grams not by cups, simply because I have no idea how to measure by cups.)

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Ingredients (for one bread)

  • 100g flour with baking powder included
  • 60g dry oatmealflakes
  • 3 eggs
  • 3 bananas (the riper the better!)
  • Cinnamon
  • Walnuts
  • Honey
  • Nutmeg
  • Dash of salt


Warm the oven on 180 degrees celcius. Start with mashing the bananas in a bowl. Make sure they are wellmashed but leave some lumps in for extra texture. Put in the eggs and stir them with a fork or rubber spatula through the bananas. Add the flour and the oatmeal and stri until fully emerged. Then you add the cinnamon, nutmeg, honey and salt. This is completely up to you and your taste. Last, add the walnuts. Make sure to add a lot, because it really makes the bread nutty and crunchy. You can also add other nuts but I found that walnut soothed my taste the best. Now, pour the whole mixture into a baking tin and leave it in the oven for about 45 minutes. Make sure to check on it once in a while to make sure the top doesn’t burn. After 45 minutes, stick a toothpick into the bread, if it comes out clean, the bread is ready. Don’t forget to let it cool off for about 10 minutes!

TIPSProcessed with VSCO with a6 preset

  • save a few peaces of banana and a few walnuts to put on top of the cake for decoration.
  • let the bananas really really ripe before using them for this recipe. the bananas mainly make the bread sweet. 
  • this bread goes really really well with some peanutbutter and a hazelnut latte.
  • there is no such thing as too much cinnamon.
  • this is a super cute gift with a nice card on the side. it really shows you put some effort into it.

If you decide to make this bread, make sure to post it and tag me, I love seeing your creations! Instagram: @nickyknols.

I wish you all the stars,


4 easy HEALTH BOOSTERS to make at home

BOOST your health with these 4 delicious home-made drinks!

These days you scroll through instagram and see all the health gurus walking around with their healthy smoothies and juices. They tell you about how healthy they are and how much health benefits those smoothies bring you. So, you decide, I want one too. Because who doesn’t wants to be healthy right? You are all ready and go to the shop where all the gurus go, and then find out one juice costs $10. You buy them once, they don’t even taste that great and you easily spend loads of money. 

So, if you are done with spending all your money on a good booster, or you are interested in how to create one fresh at home? Keep on scrolling.

“The greatest wealth, is health.”

Disclaimer: I am not saying that these drinks will cure any health issues. These drinks make ME feel good and that is why I share them. 

Golden sunshine shot

Ever had a bloated stomach after having eaten too much the night before? Feeling a little guilty about having a binge? This healthshot will make you feel better in no time.

  • 1/2 lemon squeezed

    Schermafbeelding 2019-08-13 om 14.50.59
    I got this recipe from @sarahs_day
  • 1 tsp. ginger powder or fresh shredded ginger
  • 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. turmeric
  • dash of black pepper
  • splash of water

How: Squeeze the lemon into a little shotglass. Add the ginger, cayenne pepper and turmeric and give it a good stir. Then add the black pepper and a splash of water. Don’t add too much water or the shot will be hard to take down at once.

Why: The lemon and ginger are really good for detoxing and antioxidating. The lemon is perfect for calming your stomach and the turmeric is also a good detoxer. The ginger is good for relieving nauseau and inflammation. The cayenne pepper boosts your metabolism, helps digestion, lowers your bloodpressure and helps reduce hunger. The turmeric reduces inflammation, is highly antioxidating, improves brainfunction, lowers the risk of heart disease, shows increadible benefits against depression and delays aging.

“Put yourself at the top of your to-do list every day and the rest will fall into place.”

Cozy refresher

  • Water
  • 1/2 lemon
  • (ginger, if you like)

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor lemonwater

How: boil the water and squeeze the lemon into the water. I like to use fresh lemon but you can also use plain lemon juice from the store. I like to just put the juice in but you can also choose to put some slices of lemon into your water. Make sure to get the lemon seeds out beforehand.

Why: I drink this cozy drink EVERY morning. It is a really good detoxifier. It stimulates weightloss and improves your immunesystem. It also benefits skinhealth, promotes dehydration and lifts your mood. 

Greener cleaner

Get the specifics on: celery juice  and my top 3 juicing rules #wellness #juicing #celeryjuice #hashimotos #thyroid

  • Celery
  • Block of ginger (peeled)
  • 1/2 lemon
  • water

How: Put the ingredients all together into a blender and blend until there are no more chunks (make sure to stir around to check if the ginger is fully emerged). Then get a sieve and lay it on top of a jar. Pour the liquid onto the sieve and press a little with a spoon. You can throw the pulp away and enjoy your fresh celery juice!

Why: celery is a very good source of minerals, vitamins and antioxidants. It is packed with vitamins and is very hydrating. It is good for digestion and a good source of fiber. The lemon and ginger makes it extra refreshing and hydrating.

Turmeric cuddle

  • Milk foamer
  • Milk (soy, oat, almond, or whatever you like)
  • Turmeric
  • Honey

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor golden health shot

How: Foam the milk and add some turmeric and honey. The turmeric makes it taste really fresh and the honey gives it a sweet taste. The warm milk is just the cherry on top. (Btw, you won’t actually taste the milk-taste. I usually HATE drinking milk but this drink is just amazing.”


Why: like mentioned above turmeric reduces inflammation, is highly antioxidating, improves brainfunction, lowers the risk of heart disease, shows increadible benefits against depression and delays aging. The honey improves heart health, wound healing and blood antioxidant status.

These were the 4 health boosters I completely fell in love with! Now, if you have a recipe for a good make-at-home healthbooster, make sure to send me a message. Or if your decide to make one of the boosters, make sure to tag me in a picture! Instagram: @nickyknols.

I wish you all the stars,