Love-jokes of the Universe

Read about all the pranks the universe pulls on my lovelife.

Lets be honest. The single life these days ain’t easy.

The guys you meet are either TOTALLY into relationships and are ready to settle down after one date, or don’t want anything at all. Where are the lads who see you walking on the streets and instead of whistling and calling “WHAT THAT MOUTH DO” ask for your name and if they could have a drink with you.

Every guy I’ve dated had something weird. I call it my little file of freaks. One guy can’t stop fighting with you but breaks at the thought of losing you. One guy calls it off after one week because you haven’t had sex with him yet. The next one treats you like a girlfriend but says he just wants to be friends and then there is always the guy who is completely in love with you but you can’t walk across the room without slipping over all the drool he has left. 

And yet, every single one has the audacity to tell you: “Babe I am different I swear. I am not like those other guys. I am one of a kind.” I believe that line is so old it’s still written in a cave somewhere. 

My friends told me that they always love my crazy dating stories, so I thought why not have a good laugh at the jokes of the universe together. And for the guys I’ve dated that may read this: hi, live with it.