The social war

my thoughts on the ongoing social war.

We made it through the discussion of the physical war. But I am not done, we still have got the social war to open our perspectives to. You have probably already seen it, heard it and probably even felt it a hundred times. The quotes “Be yourself” “Don’t compare yourself to people on social media” “Don’t be jealous, your succes will come in your own time” and eventhough we want to believe them, we’ve all shared an eyeroll or two when we hear yet another motivational speaker talk about it.

And yes, this too is a war. We all try to be better than the rest and we even like the competition, but only as long as we’re in the game. We’ve all felt jealous of that gorgeous Victoria’s Secret model, living in Bali and making money with wearing a coconut bikini. And because of that, we scroll through their pages, hoping to find a photo of her with a pimple, or with tanlines or whatever. And when we finally find that imperfection, we can’t f*king wait to comment it under her photo. How much would the social game change if we unanimously decided to get inspired by other people? If we stoped hoping for that bikinimodel to fail and started hoping for her to make it.

I KNOW, eyeroll, eyeroll, eyeroll. I am not trying to paint a perfect picture here. But how would you feel? If you see that pimple, and eventhough you feel jealous and want to point her imperfection out. If you instead would comment or send her a message about how inspiring you think she is, how you admire her lifestyle and if she maybe could give you some tips?

Because you won’t be focussing on the negative, eventhough your feelings may be negative, your actions are positive and so will you feel. AND if she does give you those tips, you may actually find yourself creating that life you’re dreaming about!

Focussing on the negative and jealousy, can really harm our mental health. You may not notice it right away, but through time you’ll see. I admit, I also tend to downtalk myself whenever I see someone who I FEEL LIKE is better than me. I put “i feel like” in capslock because this is not true. Just because someone has a fitter physique than me, does not mean that they are more worth, are a better person, or are less flawed, than me.

The next thing I wanted to talk about, is not just downtalking yourself TO yourself, but downtalking yourself towards others. This is something I notice all around me. In this day and age we are afraid to “try to hard” or let other people know we care too much. So, when we try something new, we are tempted to say “I am really bad at this” or “I will probably fail hahahaha.” But I actually don’t think it is that funny. You are allowed to feel confident and to trust yourself and your capabilities. Being proud at yourself does not make you a bitch and trying and failing does not make you weak. 

The social war is one everyone sees, meets and knows. But when are we starting to do something about it. Mental health is a serious issue and is just as important as your physical health. So, I hope you’ll think twice next time you start to doubt yourself because of someone elses fake reality.

I wish you all the stars,

N.

 

What we should really be scared about…

my thoughts on the real scares in this world.

Disclaimer: I respect everyones opinions and beliefs, this is my opinion and I don’t mean to provoke any harmful feelings.

It is no news that there are wars and deaths spreading over this world. Every night you watch the news, every time you check your phone, you’ll stumble onto some kind of war. Now, for me there are three kinds of wars:

  1. The physical war. The war between countries and people. The war where people are killed by one another.
  2. The social war. The war between who is better, who can show others the best that they are living the perfect life and who can make other people the worst about themselves.
  3. The individual war. The war you have with yourself on your way to becoming who you really are.

Now I will write about these wars in three separate articles. This article is about the first war, the physical war.

Lets talk about the physical war. People kill people. And why? Because of people. Now, if you would ask ANYONE, literally anyone, what their perfect world would look like. They would all say that they just want to be happy. Because that is all anyone wants. Now ofcourse there are a thousand different definitions of happy. One persons definition of happy is a lot of money and big cars, another persons definition of happy is a puppy or the smell of freshly cut grass. Ofcourse it is different. But we all crave for that feeling of joy, that feeling of fulfillment. But I wonder, why people think that they can find fulfillment in other peoples misery. 

A lot of people will call ‘hurters’ (this is how I call people who kill people) the word mental. Which I do not think is correct. People with mental disorders aren’t ‘hurters’ or ‘killers’, they are just weaker in that moment for the influence of the negativity of this world. I think that most of the ‘hurters’ are completely sane people, with just a different perspective on life. Now, do not think that I am defending them because I completely disagree with hurting people in any shape or form. But I am wondering about the reasoning behind it. Because we can protect and protect and protect the people who may get hurt, but if we never look behind the curtain to find the reason behind the hurting, than how will we ever prevent? But this is a topic for a whole other article.

And, lets not forget that even if we wouldn’t kill our own, a ton of people would still die. It is like a football-team scoring in their own goal. We are killing our own team.

Humanity has so much to fight for and fight against, and still we are decreasing our chances. Because that one person that was killed 2 seconds ago, could’ve been the one person to find out how we could live on another planet or how the universe exists.

One major life killer, actually the most dangerous animal of all, is an animal so small you’d laugh at it. But if the animal is in your room at night, it will stop you from falling asleep. You would be shaking from frustration and keep keep keep looking for it. And when you finally get the chance to catch a glimpse, you’ll know how small the chances are that you’ll catch it.

It is the mosquito.

The mosquito kills more people than people do. It also kills more people than sharks do in a century. Great leaders have suffered and died of malaria and yellow fever. And even I wouldn’t be writing this here and now, if my mother made the decision to get on a plain instead of staying in the hospital. My dad also suffered from malaria 12 times, and because of good medicine and healthcare he survived. Every two minutes a child dies from the bite of a mosquito, and I am not the only one who thinks this is too much.

This disease kills millions of people a year and instead of fighting the mosquito with all we have, we help it kill humanity. One thing you may not know, is that malaria is a disease that can be prevented. A disease that we as humans can erase from this world. So, this is why I am creating Bloody Good. We can stand tall and fight everything the world has against us, as long as we stand together.

Bloody Good is really starting now, so only a little more until we can finally launch. Stay tuned!

I will upload another article about the second war. The social war. Follow me on this blog and my social media to stay updated. 

I wish you all the stars,

N.

 

 

How to get in control

how to be a boss and get your sh*t together.

When winter comes around, I am a sucker for seasonal depression. I need my sun and my light. So, when I feel down I love to reorganize my life. These are the things I love to do to feel in control of my life again.

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Planning

Bucketlist 
Every month or every season I make myself a bucketlist. I write down everything I want to do that period, especially the things I wouldn’t normally do.

Daily planning 
Something I do everyday is planning my day. Knowing what I want to achieve and having everything written down makes me feel organized and ready to start. I also make sure to include at least one thing from my bucketlist.

Mealplanning 
There has been a lot of buzz around mealprepping lately. And I have found it really hard since I still live with my parents. Something I really like is to write down in my notes what I eat in a day. Also I look in the fridge the night before and figure out a nice and healthy breakfast that gets me excited to wake up in the morning.

Calendar 
This one is so important. I always have some kind of calendar or agenda with me. Make sure you write every appointment down so you won’t double schedule. This way you will feel much more organized and on point. This also makes sure you don’t shedule two things at the same time.

Environment

One big ass clean 
So to start off. Take one or to days to declutter EVERYTHING. If you live on your own this will take longer than when you’re living with your parents. I stil live with my parents so I only have to clean my own room. Make sure to declutter in sections. For example start with decluttering your closet. Take everything out, clean the whole closet, sort out your clothes and put everything back in. When the whole closet is done, move on to the next section. Also have one big trash bag with you so you can throw away the unwanted stuff immediately.

Twice a week whipe 
It is very important to clean your environment, and keep it clean. So pick out two days a week where you just take a cloth and some cleaning spray and have a 10 minute clean. This will help you feel organized throughout the whole week and not just after you had you spring cleaning.

Regular decluttering 
Once a month, declutter your closet and desk. Just look through what you have and what doesn’t serve you anymore. You can also put the clothes you’re not sure about in a trash bag and put it away in the garage. Set a reminder for a month later and if you haven’t felt the urge to get a piece of clothing from that bag in 4 weeks, throw it away.

Health

Workouts 
Find your thing. Everyone has their own way of working out. Working out is really good for you mental and physical health. But don’t start doing a certain workout you hate. Ofcourse I think you should experiment, and sometimes you just won’t feel like working out. But if you hate running, don’t run. For example, I love to dance. So I dance. I move my body.

Don’t caloriecount 
I never count my calories. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I do know what is going into my body and I am very aware to eat healthy foods, but calorie counting will just make you afraid of food. Instead, just write down what you eat in a day and look back at how healthy you did. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t had such an healthy day, but see where you can improve yourself.

Meditation 
This is so good for your mental health and will keep you calm through the day to slay your life. You don’t have to sit there for hours. Just a few minutes every morning will make a huge difference.

Looks

Style 
Find out what fits you. This is the fun part. You can experiment with a hundred different styles. Look at what colors suite your skintone and which materials you like to wear.

Here a few styling tips to look and feel more in control:

  • Choose good materials.
  • Don’t wear different shades of jewelry together. Choose between gold, silver or rose gold.
  • Don’t have too much going on. Choose one piece of clothing or jewelry where you want to focus the attention on.
  • Wash and iron your clothes. Never wear dirty or wrinkled clothes.
  • Clean out you bag every night so you’ll just have what you need and you won’t feel dirty.
  • Go for comfortable and stylish. Don’t wear clothes you don’t feel comfortable in cause it will show.

Hair 
Haircare is something that is been overlooked by so many people. But it is actually just as important as skincare. Have a good leave in hair oil for everyday applying. Be kind and patient and go to the hairdresser every few months.

Hygene 
Shower every day. Studies have shown that people are way more productive when they’re clean. So take a shower. Brush your teeth and do your skincare. No excuses just do it.

Mindset

Look 
Have a golden look on the world. This is your life and you, only you, are in control. See the world as a place to bloom and experience all these magical things. Make your own happy moments and opportunities.

Positivity 
Find your way to positivity. Look at your problems with a solving mindset and get the best out of every day.

Files 
We all know the struggle of losing important papers and cards and stressing out over not being able to find them. One good binder or filer will change your life. Just having one place for all of your important stuff is so important. In my binder I have the compartments: “Work” where I keep all my contracts and stuff, “Buying” where I keep all my important receipts, “Cards” where I keep all my important businesscards, etc. etc.

Thank you for reading,

To the stars and back, 


– N

How to network

key hacks I use daily to network.

When starting a business, it can be really helpful to have a team supporting you. A team of different people, with different perspectives and different values. But, how do you find those people?

It can be really hard to get out there in the first place. And if you’re eventually went out, how do you approach? I will talk a lot about how to act and what to do at networking events, but read till the end for some tips on how to find and get to networking events.

1. YES attitude

First of all it is important to grab your opportunities by the balls. Ofcourse the occasional self-care night at home is nice, but when someone invites you out, don’t say no right away. Take a moment and look at all the good things that can happen if you go out. Remember, the biggest regrets are about the things you didn’t do. This also counts for the moment someone tries to open a conversation with you. 

2. Take the risk

When it comes down to starting a conversation, just take the risk. You’re probably scared to be rejected by the other person, but the chance of being rejected is actually much smaller than you may think. Big chance that person is also waiting for someone to make a move. Not only is taking the risk worth it at specific events. You can start a conversation with the person sitting next to you on the train or someone waiting with you in line at the store. If the other person doesn’t feel like talking you’ll know soon enough and you’ve got nothing to lose. 

3. Practice wearing heels

This one obviously only counts if you’re a woman, or if you’re a man who likes to wear heels. And this one may be a long shot. But really, practice. At a networking party you want to look classy and confident, I personally always like to wear heels because they make me feel feminine and empowerd. When networking you want to be fully present in the occuring conversation and don’t want to be stumbling around with hurting feet.

4. 3 guards

When networking, have 3 guards for your mouth; nice, honesty and necessity. This means, before you say anything, ask yourself: is it nice? is it honest? and is it necessary? This way you won’t regret the things you say.  

5. Ask but tell

First of all it is really important to ask a lot. People like to talk about themselves and it makes them feel good. When someone feels good in a conversation, they will get more engaged and it will become easier. The tell part means, tell them about your dreams and about the topics the other person can help you in. For example: you’re talking to a publisher. Your dream has always been to publish a book. Ask them how the job is, what the hardest and the best parts of the job are and wether or not they always wanted to be a publisher. Then you tell him or her that it has always been a dream of yours to publish a book and what criteria you will have to fullfil. This way the publisher knows you’re interested and will be more likely to help you on your way.

6. Practice posture

It is really important to know what vibe you’re sending out. If you are standing tall and confident, people will be more tempted to come over and talk to you than when you are “hiding” yourself by crossing your arms in front of you or bowing your head. Stand tall and smile, you are worthy of being here and there is no one who can stop you from being you.

7. Bring evidence

If you are going out to network to promote your business it is really important to have evidence that you are serious. When you find that person you can help you, you want them to stick with you. So, bring a small version of the product you’re making or a businessplan. This will show the person that this is not simply an idea but a real business. For example I always carry some of the stones the artist made with me, just in case I meet someone who is interested. 

8. Bring businesscards

Like I told you, if you meet someone who seems interested in helping you, you want them to stick with you. By giving them a businesscard, it will be easier for them to contact you. Even if the other person didn’t bring a businesscard, you can write their information on the back of one of the cards. 

9. Be who you are and not who you think you should be

Certain network events can be really overwhelming. It is easy to find yourself being nervous and afraid that people won’t like you for who you are. But let me tell you, the people who don’t like you for who you are really don’t matter. The only people you can build on and grow with are the people who appreciate you for who you are. 

10. Give

Ofcourse you are at a networking event to network and find people and opinions for you business. But it is also important to help other people out. Ofcourse you shouldn’t dim your light so others can shine, but you will create a real bond with someone the moment you teach them something or help them out with a problem. If you help someone out, they will also be more likely to help you out when in need.

So, almost all of the tips above are about networking events and how to act on them. But how do you actually get to networking events? how to find them? Well, to be honest I am very fortunate to have parents who go to a lot of events and invite me with. But if you are not that fortunate here are some tips:

  1. Tell people! When you talk to your friends, family and basically anyone, tell them that you are looking for networking events and why. It is nothing to be ashamed of and maybe the person who can introduce you to the events has been right in front of you all along!
  2. Google. This one you probably could’ve thought of yourself. Google on networking events near your city and just go and check them out.
  3. Ask for help. If you admire someone, and you wonder where they go to network, just email them. You’ll be amazed at how many people really want to help you. And if that person doesn’t reply, well you’ve lost 5 minutes of your time.
  4. Like I said before, you can also just network on the train or at the local store. If you’re in school you also have a lot of people who can help you out. For me, I work at home, it can be hard to get out there and network. But if I want to get out I’ll just go for a walk or to the library. You can also discuss business at party’s. 
  5. And last, but very much not least. Network online! Make sure your social media is on point and contact people. In this time and age it is very important to have your social media together. Know your platforms and use them to tell people what you’re doing with your business. Even if you’ve only got 3 followers! If someone is interested in you or your business, they will go straight to your social media to find more about it.

 

 

 

My first article

Processed with VSCO with a4 preset

My passion for writing has always been there. It was just waiting in the corner for me to accept and embrace it. So, here I am. Accepting and embracing.

A year ago I started writing articles for a website called WeHeartIt, and I completely fell in love with it. I started gaining followers and I realised people actually liked my work. So, I decided to finally start my own blog.

“Speak your truth, you are not voiceless” 

This is a quote that has been inspiring me lately. This is my way of speaking my truth. Starting this blog is me finding my voice. 

I feel really nervous about sharing my writing. I feel like there have been so many people in my life who told me that I am too crazy and that I have to start being normal. People who made fun of me because I was me. But not anymore. 

I won’t be afraid to unapolageticly share my truest self. 

Processed with VSCO with a4 preset

About a month ago I also started a Youtube channel, and all of this is actually for a greater purpose. I am starting a business, a social enterprise. A social enterprise is a business that is founded for a good purpose. The good purpose my business is founded for is Malaria. With the profit the products of the business provides mosquito nets will be gifted to families in Afrika and will be provided for research.

I will write another article all about the business. But this is the purpose in a nutshell. I also made a video about the essence of the business:

I am confident you will get to know me as time goes on. But for now, this is my first article.

Make sure to shine today 🌙

Inspiration